Dog Poem: The Dog Got Loose This Mornin'

by Marjee K. Berry
(Clarion, IA)

The dog got loose this mornin'
and so began my day.
He looked at me over his shoulder
and grinned as he bolted away.

My dog, he looks quite fearsome-
he's the size of a St. Bernard
When he's indoors he thinks he's a lap dog
but he looks like a mean bodyguard.

I quick grabbed a coat, a hat and a scarf
and followed him on foot
He'd let me get just inches from him
then decide he wouldn't stay put.

He took off quite fast down the alley-
I gave him the third degree,
but he just kept going and going
on every single bush, shrub and tree.

I decided I'd try to outsmart him
cuz he loves to ride in the car
Besides, if I kept on runnin'
I knew I soon need CPR.

I revved up the engine and chased him
a mile or two or three--
The only time he stopped his runnin'
was when he stopped briefly to wee.

I honked in hopes of luring him in
and I called his name out loud.
I swear he jeered as he kept on goin'
--I've never seen him look that proud.

He whizzed his way down Main St.
he tinkled on signs that said 'Yield"
He watered each garden he ran through
and sprinkled the school football field.

I lost track of him for quite a long while
until I heard barkin' and growlin'.
I went to where the sound came from
and he was just standing there howlin'.

He ran out of wind at the grocery store
and stopped there to rest a spell.
That's when I nabbed him as quick as I could,
surprised when he didn't rebel.

I grabbed him and told him to get in the car
as I gave his blue collar a tug--
But wouldn't you know, he still had to go
and there was a red fire plug.

He bout yanked my arm off -- I wouldn't let go.
His strength, though, was greater than mine.
He had a sly grin as he whittled again
on the hydrant at 5th St. and Vine.

By noon I decided to give up the chase,
the sun was starting to scorch --
My tummy said "lunchtime" and when I got home
there sat a SMALL dog on my porch.

T'was a miniature version of my dog
but my dog was quite a bit fatter--
Then I laughed as I realized - it IS my dog--
half of his mass was his bladder.

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